OFF TOPIC: HUMOR: Real stories of the non-technically inclined
John G. Thompson (jgt10@livingston.com)
Tue, 08 Jul 1997 13:20:48 -0700
>X-Nextstep-Mailer: Mail 3.3 (Enhance 1.3)
>From: Peter Thompson <thompson@filoli.com>
>Date: Tue, 8 Jul 97 10:54:54 -0700
>To: joke_list@mailhost.filoli.com
>Subject: (fwd) Real stories of the non-technically inclined
>Reply-To: peter_thompson@filoli.com
>Organization: Filoli Information Systems
>
> REAL STORIES OF THE NON-TECHNICALLY INCLINED
> ========================================================
>
> I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into
> itself and for the life of them could not understand why their computer
> would
> not turn on.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> 1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
> 2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"
> 1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say
> all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I
> tried it again, and the same thing happened."
> 2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"
> 1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone
> else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the
> recipient would open it and read it."
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you
> need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
> the battery in this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
> you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
> battery for this?"
>
> "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this
> remote 'thingy,'" she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.
>
> As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you
> drive over there and check about the batteries...it's a long walk."
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> Tech Support: "What does the screen say now."
> Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
> Tech Support: "Well?"
> Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his
> address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where
> Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look,
> I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he
> was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
> paper.
>
> What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she told him. With
> that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on
> the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> I was working the help desk. One day one of the computer operators
> called me and asked if anything "bad" would happen if she dropped coins
> into the openings of her PC. I asked her if this was something she was
> thinking of doing. She said, "never mind" and hung up. So I got out my
> trusty tool kit and paid her a visit. I opened her CPU case and sure
> enough, there was 40 cents.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system administrator
> trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed to type a path name
> to a directory named "i386." He started to type it and paused, asking me,
> "Where's the key for that line thing?"
>
> I asked what he was talking about, and he said, "You know, that one that
> looks like an upside-down exclamation mark."
>
> I replied, "You mean the letter "i"?" and he said, "Yeah, that's it!"
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> This person had a broken lamp which he wanted to discard. Unfortunately,
> the power cord ran under his refrigerator, making it impossible to move
> the lamp while the cord was attached. He decided to cut the cord, since
> the lamp was unusable anyway. He didn't remember to unplug it first. I
found
> him in the hallway rolling back and forth.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was towed
> into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
> the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the
> manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the
> cruise control, then went in back to make a sandwich.
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered
> said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"
> - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
>
> I rented a movie from Blockbuster. Before the movie begins a message
> comes on the screen saying, "This movie has been altered to fit your
> television screen."
>
> Comment from person: "How do they know what size screen I have?"
>
>
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John G. Thompson Livingston Enterprises Inc. Phone: (800) 458-9966
JOAT(MON) 4464 Willow Road Fax: (510)737-2110
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